I challenged the month of November and December to try and make up for the months that went before them. Nothing super amazing has happened thus far but somehow November has stepped up to the plate. I started to reflect on this year and in this time of reflection I have come to new insight.
Firstly, I started to hate this place! Some call it “the place where God lives” and others the most beautiful town in South Africa. However for me it has become a place of frustration, a place where belonging is difficult. Stellenbosch is a student town, which means that 70% of its population is between 19 and 25. Now, I am already 31 years old which makes me a bit older than everyone else. On the other side of the spectrum, the people my age are married with children and for most of them that is their lives. To be honest, I fit in better with the student, because most of them are also broke and do not have a clue about where they are going. So I hang out with the students most of the time. But still, I don’t really fit in considering that some of them called me tannie at the beginning of this year.
For the last month I have been actively preparing to leave Stellenbosch. I send my CV overseas, hoping to go to Australia J . Moreover, part of my preparation to actively end this season entailed me mading a list of all the Stellenbosch things I have not done or seen yet. The funny thing about this activity was that now I started to fall in love with this place again. I recently hiked to the second waterfall in Jonkershoek for the first time and it was breathtaking. I also went cycling through town, which was more of a get over your fear of the road, activity. Today I am going rock climbing- NO! not for real…just the wall at the Neelsie – I don’t even know where in the Neelsie it is -… the list however has been endless…
So, what actually happened in the last month was that I started to reposition myself to appreciate this amazing place and the opportunities it offers #sela (think about that)
And for the record, I will probably never really fit in anywhere. I am weird, complicated and odd. I do not even understand myself, so how can I expect others to understand me?? But what I did learn is that even though my fiends range from 19 years old to 54 years old, they are my friends. Some are big and some are small, others gym a lot and have big muscles whereas others also gym a lot and still are as thin as a stick. Some have money and will treat you to fancy meals and others, well even in your most financial broke moment you have to provide the dollars. Some are coloured and some are just brown skinned, some are white and can’t even tan, and others have race identity issues, they don’t know what they are and neither do I…Some speak many languages and other can only speak Afrikaans. Some love the outdoors and others, well they know a computer inside and out… I am going to stop now because there is no end to the diversity of my friends… I guess that’s why I am such a complex person… I am being influenced by all walks of life… Nevertheless, what an honour to have such a diverse group of friends!!
I have been fighting with so many of them during this time and through it all there was an acceptance, although they don’t always get me. And at the end every fight has an end and n better continuing of the friendship.
So, what I have is what most people don’t have, real friends who are honest and who loves me and who accepts me…so call me wealthy and call me blessed… I suppose somehow in a bizarre way, I do fit in…
Secondly, I have been broke for most of this year but looking back I have done a lot of stuff for someone without money. I can’t explain it!! I must just be blessed…living the adventure…provided for by the Father in the most peculiar ways.
Thirdly, my thesis was not showing any progress….oh boy, how much I have hated this process. I did not want this degree anymore!! (I will write about this drama in a another blog- promise J). Not so long ago I went to the writing lab and all she could say was how great my work was and how impressed she was. I started to cry…shame, the lady was so confused. The only thing my supervisor does is to compliment me…I don’t understand, I am not finishing this year. In my books it was one big failure!! However in retrospect, I now view it as one big learning process, which is supposed to be normal??
Fourthly, the accommodation in Monica is really bad. I have one room, not too small but that is about it. I have no kitchen facilities and I have to share a bathroom with students plus the room is extremely cold and dark. I call it the dungeon!! If you know me, you should be laughing at this moment because how terrible is it now really. I remember not so long ago when I grew-up without a bathroom and I do not even want to think of how most people live in this country. I have been caught up in my own little world and forgot to be thankful because my time in Monica has been super awesome despite of the bad living conditions compared to others in my position…lol #entitlement… oops!!
I am so honoured to have met the ladies of Monica and Harmonie and to have been able to do life with them. Legend girls that are going to be and already are such influential people in our country and even globally, and I am not being biased.
So, 2014….you were actually not that bad at all and Stellies as much as I am preparing to leave, I am willing to stay!!
lesson: perspective!! stay thankful…life is an adventure, embrace it fully!!
Be blessed and be a blessing